“Why do you always look mad?”

It’s just a look. I just don’t have the courtesy to smile all day long, to welcome people into my presence, to make conversation. I’m just fed up, that’s all. If you knew me five years ago, you’d know I was that girl everyone took advantage of. If you needed someone to buy you lunch, that’s me. If you needed someone to walk you home, that’s me. If you needed someone to get something you wanted, that’s me. I had people that hung around me, but I never had any real friends that would call me to see how I was doing. No, the only reason those people would call me was to give them a ride, pay for them, sneak them out. Now, I say fuck all of that. I’m a complete bitch now. Ain’t no one taking shit from me and I don’t take shit from anyone. I stay on my grind. I stopped caring about people’s opinions and thoughts or whatever the fuck they’re called, altogether. And I honestly do not give two fucks if people hate me now because I’m such a bitch to everyone, y’all do not know me. You don’t. If you did, you’d know I rub medicine against my grandmother’s neck to stop her from coughing every night. You’d know my mom is not mentally stable. You’d know I’ve seen reality in ways you never have. You’d know how many times I woke up at three in the morning to get my mom away from her ex-husband’s house. You’d know my family brings out every argument into the streets. You’d know I’ve seen my mom die. You’d know I do the grocery shopping, with no job and no car. You’d know I’ve had enough men acting like a fatherly figure to last me a fucking lifetime. You’d know that my brother is living with his dad in LA because we don’t have anything to take care of him. You’d know my sister was ferociously kicked out of the house. You’d know I have to go through everyday, without them. You’d know my mom’s been to jail. You’d know I only talk to her once a week because she stays in her room, avoiding me. You’d know my grandmother works for her own daughter and my grandfather works for my mom’s ex-husband just to get food on the table. You’d know, everyday is a struggle. That’s why I always look mad.